How to be an elegant woman in our modern world – learn modern elegance

Have you ever seen someone and immediately thought to yourself “Wow, that’s an elegant woman.”?

Perhaps you couldn’t even describe the impression, but you just knew that that woman had something special about her.

My attraction to elegance started many years ago. I was fascinated with this amazing concept and decided to study elegance in detail.

Contrary to popular belief, elegance is not defined by physical beauty or by expensive ornaments, supported by wealth to create a misleading appearance.

Fake, or “bought”, elegance can create a similar effect to authentic elegance, but only for short period of time.

The veil is soon lifted, and the would-be usurper pales in comparison to real elegance.

Real elegance is a way of being; it is a quality that almost possesses some sort of magic.

Elegance is defined as “the quality of being graceful and stylish in appearance or manner. the quality of being pleasingly ingenious and simple”.

Quite complicated, don’t you think?

Well, as the site’s name suggests, my purpose is to simplify this complicated and magical concept called “elegance”.

Personally, I think that elegance is something that every woman can achieve and “master”. Contrary to its reputation as a trite, boring, and stiff quality, elegance is timeless and fits our modern world perfectly.

In this article, I will take you through simple guidelines to help you find your own way to elegance.

Kindness: a key trait of all elegant women

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.” – Princess Diana.

An Elegant woman embodies many traits, one of the most noteworthy of which is kindness.

Personally, I find the world to be full of too much rudeness and vulgarity in our times. People have generally become unrefined, and fall short of using basic manners and showing respect to others.

An elegant woman has neither time nor space for those sorts of bad qualities in her life; furthermore, she aspires to create a kind and respectful environment to put the people around her at ease.

Kindness is defined as “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate”.

Personally, I believe that kindness lies in the little thing, and that there is no need of grandiose gestures.

Here are 3 simple ways to increase kindness in your life:

Be appreciative

Saying “thank you” is a simple courtesy that takes just a moment; it costs you nothing, not even effort.

When we receive gifts or any special favors, we naturally say “thank you”. But when it comes to small and simple gestures many people tend to forget the courtesy, and take those gestures for granted.

To be elegant is to be aware of such small details and show your appreciation even to “insignificant” and minor things.

Smile

A warm smile speaks the universal language of kindness.

I happen to be a very smiley person myself, and I find people who smile a lot far more attractive.

Smiling not only creates a good feeling within yourself, but also cheers others and has a positive effect on your surroundings.

Whether you smile to the people that are closest to you or to a stranger in the street, a kind and open smile paves the way to brightening everyone’s day.

Be mindful of how you treat others

Many of us go through our day with our head down (often buried in our mobile phone). Sometimes, we even take our loved ones for granted.

An elegant woman raises her level of awareness to others around her, and shows them the respect and kind behavior they deserve.

Something as simple as paying attention in a conversation, or giving a small compliment, can be a kind gesture.

The smallest things can have the greatest impact on our friendships and relationships.

Elegant woman is passionate and self-sufficient

Elegant women are unique for their independence. An elegant woman is dynamic and strong, but coincidingly, she remains feminine and “delicate”.

This special woman does not expect others to take care of her physically, emotionally, or financially; she is passionate about her own life.

If you strive to become more elegant, your first and foremost priority must be yourself. Invest time and effort to develop your personality, interests, and independence.

You must have your own goals and be focused and determined enough to nurture them. When you focus on yourself, you learn to value yourself, and thereby add value to your surroundings – to me, that’s one of the most elegant things to do.

Posture: a reflection of an elegant state of mind

You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she carries herself.

Bad posture can be interpreted as lack of confidence, and at times can be mistaken for lack of interest in a conversation or a situation.

Personally, I think that there is nothing more gracious and elegant than perfect posture.

Can you imagine an elegant woman with a bad posture? The very notion is absurd. A woman can put on the most expensive dress, display the most meticulous hairstyle, and present the most detailed make up – but if her posture is slouchy and closed, the magic is gone.

Our modern lifestyle all but diminishes posture, and most people need to actively make an effort to correct the way that they hold their body when standing or sitting.

I was fortunate enough to attend gymnastics classes at a young age; those classes had a great impact on my posture and on the way I hold my body to this very day.

Stand in front of the mirror and check your posture – you’ll find that, in most cases, there is plenty of room for improvement. I’m not spared from similar realizations.

Luckily, there are many ways to improve your posture.

Firstly, you can take up some sort of dance or athletics classes, and thereby nurture a new hobby.

Secondly, you can practice yoga, flexibility, or strength in the comfort of your own home.

Thirdly, you can do simple posture exercises with the help of an online guide or video.

Choose a method that you think fits best with your lifestyle and make it a habit. I can assure you that such habits will have a great effect on your elegance, grace, and overall health.

Elegant woman is well-spoken

As a young woman, I was far from good at speaking – in fact, you could even say that I was pretty terrible at it.

Because I used to be a rather shy person, I often chose to be quiet in social situations. Finding the right thing to say, using savoir faire, was a challenging task for me – even in everyday conversations.

In the pursuit of becoming a better woman – an elegant woman – I decided that I should not neglect my rhetoric.

The way we speak influences the impression that we leave on others and plays a huge part in our ability to connect with people.

People judge us according to our language and charisma, and who can blame them? Our language is the expression of our intelligence and ideas.

I think that we can all agree that an elegant woman, such as yourself, must be well-spoken. I personally believe that being well-spoken is something that anyone can work to achieve.

Elegant woman has tasteful appearance

An elegant woman always aims to achieve a tasteful appearance. I deliberately use the word “tasteful” – not expensive, fancy, branded, or good-looking.

I like to simplify the concept of tastefulness by breaking it down to 4 attributes:

Look presentable

An elegant woman chooses to make a little effort to look presentable – no matter where she goes. It doesn’t mean she looks fancy all the time: a simple outfit and a neat ponytail are enough. For that matter: wear your sweatpants at home.

Dress for the occasion

Dressing appropriately for the occasion is a simple concept. We are as unlikely to wear jeans to a black-tie event as we are to bring high heels to the supermarket. While these are obviously exaggerated examples, the underlying idea is clear.

Elegance is found in the details – make sure that your appearance is “precise” and matches your location and surroundings.

Modesty is eye-catching

Elegant women are eye-catching for their simplicity and dignity; they don’t need to put on big logos, wear bold colors, or show a lot of skin to be noticeable.

Nowadays, women choose to “put their body on display” to draw attention (mainly from men); they almost think that it’s necessary. The shorter the dress, and the deeper the cleavage – the better.

Well, those women might be noticeable, but not for the right reason. Personally, I opt for a different kind of attention.

If you wish to be elegant and sophisticated, stay away from the notorious outfit that’s assembled from a cropped tank-top and booty-short jeans. Nobody needs to see your cleavage, back, stomach, and legs at the same time.

Moderation is key. Choose to be subtle, and you will find that the “bland” and the hidden can be even more appealing and sensual than the bold and the exposed.

Details:

I’ve refrained myself from mentioning hair and makeup in every point that I specified above, but those too should be sleek, clean and simple – and of course, match the occasion.

When it comes to your clothing, make sure that it’s wrinkle-free and fit your body shape. Sometimes a quick ironing, steaming, or a brief visit to the tailor, can drastically transform your appearance.

Personally, I also choose to have fewer, high-quality garments, rather than a bursting closet full of low-quality pieces. You can read more on that in my article about classy women’s wardrobe essentials.

I like to research and purchase clothes online, and among my favorite sites to find elegant and sophisticated outfits are Net A Porter, Everlane, Asos, and Mango.

Elegant woman is intelligent

An elegant woman is knowledgeable and skilled in many fields; she devotes time and effort to activities such as reading literature, listening to audiobooks and podcasts, and developing her skills and interests.

To nurture her intellect, a sophisticated woman may also enjoy learning a new language or participating in online classes; she possesses various talents that can vary from horseback riding to painting, dancing (in contemporary or traditional styles), playing musical instruments, or even sewing.

If you find yourself struggling to incorporate such activities into your daily routine, try to analyze your schedule: you will most likely find that you can minimize your consumption of Netflix and social media (I had the same realization myself), and utilize that time better.

I like to recommend two of my favorite platforms for cultivating interests. These platforms can help you become more proficient and skilled in many areas:

Skillshare:

Skillshare is an online learning community with virtual classes that are taught by the world’s best practitioners; it offers a world of educational content that can benefit your career, evolve your talents, or simply help you develop a new skill. Skillshare offers a free trial – you can sign up and learn anything that your heart desires for absolutely free.

Audible:

Audible is an audiobook service provided by Amazon. I like Audiobooks because they enable me to continuously “read” while fulfilling mundane activities. Audible offers a library of over 200,000 audiobooks, many of which are classics or bestsellers. If you are yet to try audiobooks, sign up for a free 30-day trial and choose a book of your liking.

Elegant woman displays etiquette and manners

Etiquette is defined as “the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group”.

Some people argue that etiquette is all about stuffy, old-fashioned rules of behavior that are outdated and irrelevant. I think that etiquette and manners, like other cultural behaviors, evolve to match our time – and, just like elegance, they never go out of style.

There is more to etiquette than knowing the proper way to sit, or the right thing to say. Etiquette is about connections between people.

Being “well mannered” or using etiquette is merely a way to show your respect and mindfulness to the people around you by being polite and courteous.

An elegant woman knows that her behavior reflects her character, and therefore she chooses to communicate using proper etiquette and manners.

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” – Emily Post.

Conclusion

Being elegant is not easy, but it is not impossible either. You just need to gradually learn and make simple shifts in your daily life.

If you want to become more elegant, you must learn to showcase your class and dignity in all spheres of life; show your elegance with the way you walk, the way you talk, and the way you treat others.

Don’t try to be perfect, that’s never elegant. Embrace your life, strive for constant improvement, and add elegance by treating others with kindness and respect.

Moreover, remember that the journey to self-betterment and elegance is continual and never-ending. Maintain a steady, yet effective, pace on the way, and enjoy the road.

I’d love to read your thoughts! What does elegance mean to you? Please leave a comment in section below.